on ? january 2001 xstense wrote
to you:

so now
you that is more than you
are moving inside of me
unbearably close
incredibly self-assured
not waiting for any approval

the moment you were
here
you swung into action
twirling spinning more of you
your self-centered self
doubling quadrupling multiplying at an alarming rate
out of control
sending disrupting signals
cross-wiring my nerves

reforming what still might seem to be
my actions
informing what might still seem to be
my emotions
deforming what might still seem to be
my mass

how am i supposed to stay calm under your presence?
how could i stay unmoved by your touch?

you
weaken my muscles - shake my stomach - mollify my tendons - multiply my glands -
outbalance my balance
& stretch the elastic skinbag till it itches:
forcing it to expand to encompass us both
no space for air
no space for hunger
only
a
hole

for

you

soften my bones and
break them
to
open

what’s left
of
me
…

and now there’s only this unnerving desire
please
share your space
allow me to touch you
accept my curious gaze

tense

(soon m/we will meet)

to this,
you replied:

and then, xstense wrote one more time: xstense part 6.